In love with Enemies

ALL of the most beautifull females I love; and who love me, are the greatest enemies of all. When they try to be with me, I push them away to keep them from being hurt. When I desire to be with them, it is similar. Sometimes they throw me on someone else. If we get together, I will make them keep their mind and love closed to prevent contamination with me; of possible injuries. WE live; and fight each other ultimately. I love them; then leave them, similarly to other males. I have many females I love; similarly to other males. I love them; then, separate from them; similarly to other ,males. I truly love them> Other males cannot control themselves around them [as I control myself], are in a "love" game; or use them when They need them. They also do not love them. If it were not for the protection of the females, I would be with them always. I would not leave them. If we have sex, it is a battle to take them all of the way; then, to love them all over. I always feel that way. It is equally as much a battle to keep them from linking onto me to try to control me; as well as myself not desiring to control them. We love each other because we always attract each other; and get trapped in a love and sex trap; but, we love each other because we desire to be with each other. WE truly love each other; but simultaneously tempt each other into very dangerous relationships; indicating a simultaneously blatant disregard to consequences. That is a hate reaction. I; Optionally take good care of them through fantasies; which results in a greater love, greater disregards, and greater potential disasters. I use fantasies and other "tricks" to trap them; then, I back off and hide from them when they respond. We bot tease each other into ultimate desires. When I go into space, it will be well for them due to the fact I will not be sufficiently close to pose a hazard to them; or them to me. W love each other truly and intensely; but, we are extremely abusive and torturous to each other. Even those I rape are a very hazardous partner type of relationship partner. The relationship is similar to having a non curable disease and visiting each other with total and complete disregard to each other's health. WE desire to smell each other, feel each other, even come with each other very much. It is something we look forward to. WE realize what each other feels; but, we cannot be with; or without each other. We are stuck in state of connexionicity. Sometimes, I desire to let them know how much I love them; but, I think it is best they do not know. That way, they will not hurt; or be miserable by our separation. I know how difficult it would be to them. I know how much I love them so I know how it feels. I do not want them to feel that way also. If they do not believe I love them; they are safe. It is a defense system for them to not believe or know. I may be miserable; but, they may be happy now.